During my – many – years of dating, I tried to learn as much as I could about the theories of the opposite sex. I read books like ‘Men Are From Mars; Women Are From Venus,’ by John Gray and ‘The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave’ by Bob Grant and a bunch of others along those lines. And what I tired to fathom about different spending habits between men and women was that the fairer sex liked to spend, whereas their hunter-gatherer partner, liked to save. So I figured that since I wasn’t a spender, I wouldn’t have that challenge; my future husband and I would both be savers and there’d be nothing to fight about.
Ho, ho, ho, little did I know. When I met Daniel I thought he was the total opposite of my father as he did like to spend (my father has always been cleverly frugal with his pennies). What I didn’t realize until after we got married was that Daniel shared a lot of similarities with my father, except in the money realm. It hasn’t been easy trying to navigate finances with Daniel, but over the years we’ve been married, thankfully I’ve learned to relax a lot (although I do still get frustrated in this area at times).
What is interesting to me is also, is what I have discovered on having spoken to my female (married) friends. This stuff about financing, budgeting, and men and women’s stereotypical spending habits, is all a big myth and perhaps just a nasty, manipulative way of keeping women barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen while the men go out and spend, spend, spend.
As I was chatting to my girlfriend Kayla just yesterday, she said when she goes out “to spend money” it’s a lip-gloss and a pair of socks totaling $8.50. But her husband Mike will come home with a Plasma TV for $800….hmmm, who’s the spender there?
It does seem therefore that “women shop, men buy.” Therefore, I have now decided that we need to break down the brainwashing that we’ve accepted for way too long that it is women who need to kick their compulsive spending habits in the butt and really give our men a talking-to on how to budget sensibly.
I don’t fancy my chances with Daniel at home, but it’s definitely worth a try. Watch this space for how it goes…