Female Fertility in the Forties

So it wasn’t so easy for me to get pregnant with my kids – harder for Ethan because of my increasing seniority – but it wasn’t too intense either.  We did three IUIs but my FSH numbers were pretty rotten. I really wanted to avoid IVF so when it looked like I was either peri-menopausal or even menopausal at 38-years-old, I decided to give alternative therapies a try.  Thankfully, after three months of having needles stuck around different parts of my body on a weekly basis along with ingesting some Chinese herbs, I got pregnant with Ethan.  Thankfully after he was born, I knew I was well and truly done having kids.

The stress you go through trying to conceive, getting pregnant, doing all the ultrasounds and amniocentesis and other genetic testing in your 40s is truly just hell.  And my good friend Amanda, who only got married at 38, has been trying to conceive now for four years, since the moment she got married. Nothing has happened.  Not even a miscarriage.

So last night I was thrilled when she came over with her husband Matt for drinks and she said with a grin, “it’ll just be orange juice for me…for the next 9 months,” and she confirmed her pregnancy (she’s actually 3 months pregnant but said the 9 month thing for affect).  Daniel and I were delighted.  He and Matt are such good friends and it’s been tough for us all to avoid saying anything about our kids, knowing how much they wanted their own.

Now I just hope the  next six months goes smoothly for her.  She’s staying with her fertility doctor for the duration of the pregnancy as apparently she herself only had kids in her mid-forties so tries not to be such a panic-button-pusher and just let Amanda get on with it.  She wants me to guide her through all the stages, particular to older women which I’ll be glad to do.  And I sure as hell won’t be disappointed it’s not me!  I’m really glad for her as I know how tough it is to want kids and not have them and feel that tremendous frustration every month as your period descends.  This just makes me thank God for Jayden and Ethan that little bit more every day.